Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Your life, your journey

Today I want to rant...
I know that we live in a communal society, as such we sometimes take responsibility for things and tend to fix them or provide solutions to them. Sometimes however, we tend to forget that we can't fix people's lives.
For instance, you call a 5 year old dumb because he is slow at learning, but you have no idea that the child is dyslexic (google it).
You tell an 18 year old who is struggling to get admission, that he/she is not serious with school, the truth is that you don't know that teenager has tried, prayed and worked hard at getting into school, then you come like an Almighty fixer, and you recommend that the teenager tries an alternative to University Education. What you don't know is that the child really wants to earn a University degree in a particular subject, something that may not be accessible in those alternatives.
You tell a 21 year old woman that she must not celebrate her 25th birthday in her parents house because you think that at age 25 every lady should have been married. What you don't know is that the 21 year old loves the idea of getting married, but for now, she is focused on other things like her NGO and her education, and she cannot come and toast man, and in the real sense, no one has ever asked her out, but behind the curtains, God is working something out.
You tell a teenage boy to become an Engineer, when he really wants to get a sports scholarship, be a pro basket-baller, be a philanthropist, and change people's lives through his pet projects.
You tell a 25 year old that she is getting too old to be in her parents house, she should go and get married, refer to the last sentence about 21 year old woman above.
You tell a teenager who has found God and is currently loving on Him that he is not trying hard enough because his hair cut is 'punk'. You are not the Holy Spirit, you are not in charge of his transformation.
You tell a 27 year old lady who wants to get a PhD that if she does, it makes her less eligible for marriage, well, I think that your spouse will show up when God wants him to and he will be wowed by your ambitions, and push you to achieve your dreams.
You tell a 30 year old man that he should quit being celibate or that he should get a better car so that ladies will take him more seriously. What does that even mean?
You tell a grandmother who wants to get married again that she should just face raising her grandchildren. Again, I ask you, are you the author of her life? And by the way, I have an elderly professor getting married in a few days, and yes, she has a granddaughter who she's mushy mushy over.
I can go on and on, I've seen too many examples, heard people's comments and even taken some of these grenade myself, but I've come to realize that everyone has a right to be in his/her journey without your input. Instead of trying to fix people's lives, why not try praying for them without even letting them know you are doing so. If you can't pray, you can offer your advise without trying to change the course of the person's journey.
At the end of the day, this life is about you and your God. When you stand before your creator, what would you have done with your life, YOUR LIFE, not Mr A's life or Miss B's life, YOUR OWN LIFE.
I want to hear your story, what are the the things people have told you, and looking back today, you realized it did not hold water? Kindly drop a comment.
Have a great day.

Thursday, 14 July 2016

Rest in the wrong place? I think not

This morning I pondered on why my last relationship failed. I couldn’t just understand why God could not just change him and make him the perfect man. I badly wanted this to be my last and final relationship; I gave more than I should have given just to ensure that this worked. I had too many questions but God spoke: "YOU WILL NEVER FIND REST IF YOU ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE".

This answer settled it for me. On the way to the promise land, the children of Israel could have decided to settle down in the wilderness because they were tired of moving and traveling endlessly but surely they would not have expected God to convert the wilderness into the promise land. The same happened to me. Because I was tired of being single, I just wanted God to make my wilderness become my promise land. Unless you get to the promise land, you can never find true bliss. This is generally our experience as humans. We get tired of waiting, we get tired of being patient then we settle for less and expect God to give us full joy and peace. 

I learnt how to trust God the hard way. He called me out of a defective relationship and even in my loneliness I can say boldly that I am having a feel of what the promise land will look like. He has good thoughts towards us to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)

Ronke Ajayi-Smith
August, 2015